Beautiful Ending

I have not blogged for a long time. There is not much news on The Well Project front per se. We are still continuing to play every once in awhile and sell cd's. Our church's umbrella, Outward Projects, is still involved deeply in Uganda. Check out www.outwardprojects.com.

I write often on my Facebook page and just thought I'd throw out some food for thought.


Beautiful Ending
by barlowgirl

O, tragedy, you’ve taken so many
Love lost cause they all forgot who you were
And it scares me to think that I would choose my life over you
My selfish heart defines me from you
It tears us apart

So tell me - What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful?
So beautiful?

O why do I let myself let go
Of hands that painted the stars and hold tears that fall
And pride of my heart makes me forget
It’s not me but you who makes the heart beat
I’m lost without you, you dying for me

Will my life find me by your side
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful?

At the end of it all, I want to be in your arms
At the end of it all, I want to be in your arms
At the end of it all, I want to be in your arms

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixj6A_ZIuiI

Close your eyes. Play the above youtube link. Don’t waste time viewing the video. It’s horrible. In my mind, it ruins the song. But the words to this song captured my heart. And I want to tell you why after you hear the song.

Do you ever look around you at people who have walked the journey of loving Jesus ahead of you and wonder “What happened?” I do. Sometimes I see people who seem resigned to life and the chaos it brings, other times I see people who I know at one time were ferverently in love with Jesus now come apart at the seams by some tragedy or pain. Sometimes it’s people taken out by an affair or pornography or divorce or bankruptcy. Or at times the saddest thing is lives lived in such a small way. Consumed by pettiness, small issues, bitterness, or just this sort of sickening apathy. I see people just giving up. Most likely believing it can’t get better so why not just self-medicate, look for small pieces of happiness and let go of hope?

This all sounds like judgement. It isn’t. Not that I’m above that. It’s just not where my heart is. I get it actually. I have many times been at the brink of settling for all that. But so far, by his grace, I am still getting up, hoping for more.

I am thinking of this song…I want a beautiful ending. What pitfalls did the people I am speaking of above not make it through? What is to keep me from living a small life? How do I live in such a way that at the end of it all, I am in his arms? How do I live in his arms now? His love really is so beautiful that my throat gets thick when I really get a glimpse of him.

I think of Leigh Barkalow who said “I want to spend it all and die in his arms.” That picture just slams me.

That is adoration. That is being so moved by the sacrifice of a Father, the love of a Father, the goodness of a Father that nothing else compares to intimacy with Him. And every true beat of my heart cries out for that. It’s just the living life that gets in the way. The day in, day out living that sneaks my own heart away from me, substituting small pleasures, meaningless indulgences for the miraculous and deep love affair with God.

I am praying for a beautiful ending for me, for you, for us all. May we be satisfied with nothing less than a daily love affair with the God of the ages who calls us his friend, his love, his delight. And may this love affair so cause us to have an overflow of love in our hearts, that we can't help but leak his beauty into every aspect of community we belong to.